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Signs of Spirit
Signs of Spirit
In 2005, we became aware that even though spirit is invisible to the eye, it’s characteristics can be observed in ourselves and others.
Signs of Spirit are evidence of the existence of the unseen spirit. They are characteristics that can be observed in ourselves and others. Once known and recognized as coming from spirit, we can choose to activate and cultivate them in ourselves, thus living as spirits in daily life.
We call these characteristics “signs of spirit” because they demonstrate the presence of spirit, just as a heartbeat and breathing our “signs of life” for the body.
We have been writing first-person short stories about our experiences observiing signs of spirit in ourselves and others and also about how we intentionally use these spirit abiities in our daily lives.
Our intent in sharing these stories is to make it more kown in the world that spirit exists and exists in each and every human being in addition to all of Life. Perhaps our stories will inspire you to find these signs of spirit in yourself and others.
What I Found
on the Other Side of Anger
by Debra Redalia
In this story, I want to give you my whole process because part of opening to more spirit awareness is letting go of old thoughts and feelings that are blocking it. When we can see those hidden blocks, they disappear. Spirit just floods in and big changes can happen instantly.
For the past month or so, I’ve been diligently researching and observing emotions.
When I first started looking at this subject, I couldn’t believe I had never looked at it before and really didn’t understand it, so of course, I had hidden emotional upsets that frequently popped up to get my attention.
Finally I got to a point in my study last week where I had sorted through all the information I had been studying about emotions and came to a point of understanding. Larry had been helping me a lot with this. Yesterday afternoon I finally was able to write a list of emotions that I could observe in myself and others, and identify and understand them.
But as I was getting to this point, I started feeling more and more anger (one of Larry’s least favorite emotions!). I was just getting angry right and left, all day long. Last night I didn’t sleep very well.
Yesterday morning I had a big blowup with Larry. This is going to sound so trivial, but this is the way it works. (Larry says, “Nonetheless, it was extreme. Trivialness has nothing to do with the degree of anger.”)
One of Larry’s tasks around the house is to wash the dishes. For years, when people ask me what brand of electric dishwasher I have, I say, “Larry.” I can’t even remember having an electric dishwasher except as a child. My parents had one. But I don’t like them.
So it’s been Larry’s job for more than 30 years to wash the dishes because it’s my job to cook. And usually he is happy to do it. But if he’s not feeling happy or is physically ill, of course it doesn’t get done. Now I have to make three meals a day or we don’t eat, but of course, if I’m sick or unhappy, those go out the window too. So neither of us are perfect at our respective tasks.
Over the past three days Larry did not wash the dishes for three days. He was actually exhausted from setting up our garden to be planted anew with vegetables this coming weekend. The first two days I washed the dishes. The third day, the emotion of anger got triggered—past anger of another time Larry hadn’t washed the dishes and I got angry. But there was more. I could see that it really wasn’t about the dishes. It was about not keeping agreements he had made with me in the distant past.
Now Larry is a fanatic about keeping agreements. If we agree to go grocery shopping at 5:00, at 4:59:59 he’s walking into my office saying, “Here I am. Let’s go shopping!” As a soulmate and life partner I have zero complaints. He is as true and loyal to me as possible and he is always willing to learn new skills to bring us closer and be a better team. But some other agreements don’t get kept for one reason or another.
I saw yesterday morning that my anger about him not washing the dishes was not just about not washing the dishes or even not keeping agreements. What kicked in was a whole flood of past experiences where my perception was “Larry didn’t keep his agreement with me.” It was like a rush of a flooded river filled with flotsam and jetsam streaming out of the past into my awareness.
Last night I took out a pad of paper and started writing down any and every time Larry hadn’t kept an agreement with me, actually, not specific times, but specific agreements that had been broken. And when I finished writing down every time Larry hadn’t kept an agreement with me, I saw the list was pretty short, but there was one big one: financial agreements.
This is not unusual. Many couples fight over finances and even divorce over financial problems. We divorced over financial problems, then got married again and again divorced over financial disagreements. We each had our own financial problems and as well as we got along in other ways, having legal responsibility as domestic financial partners was just a difference that seemed irreconcilable.
I want to be clear about this point. I love Larry, the spiritual being. Financial problems are a problem. Larry himself is not a financial problem. I myself am not a financial problem. But we each had our own financial problems we needed to sort out as individuals AND we needed to learn to operate with money together. But we couldn’t figure out the together part until we each had solved our own financial confusions.
It turned out that this is what I was angry about. And I had been angry about this for 30 years. Larry had not kept his agreement to make a certain amount of income and pay his share of household expenses and other purchases, so it was all left up to me. Now it might have been different if we had an agreement I would pay it. It wasn’t the money, it was the broken agreement.
By the time of the second divorce, the disparity was immense. I had paid thousands of dollars for things Larry should have paid for an indeed, had agreed to pay for but hadn’t.
Not just a few thousand. Tens of thousands had accumulated over time.
At that time, I decided to just forgive him this debt and move on. I just gave up expecting I would ever see this money again. (To his credit, when Larry was physically able again and we got back together, he began to pay me $50 a month on this debt, from his own orignation.)
And then Larry fell out of a tree and broke his back and moved to California with his parents to recover from this accident. We were apart for four years. During that time we were divorced and I was free to date any man I was interested in. But in that entire four years I did not meet one man I wanted to date. I would make lists of what i wanted in a man, and it was just Larry over and over. Larry with enough money to not have financial problems.
After falling out of the tree and breaking his back and right leg, Larry became legally disabled, so he was eligible for social security disability. This amounted to enough to pay his parents for a room in their house and to buy miscellaneous things. It wasn’t a lot of money but it was a change. For the first time in our life together, Larry had a regular source of income.
When Larry could walk again and participate in life with me, he wanted us to get back together. And by then I was really appreciating all he had to offer. Plus he now at least had some money for rent and food.
As it all turned out, just as it was time for Larry and I to decide where we wanted to live together, Larry’s Dad left his body and Larry wanted us to live with his Mom. And that’s what we did.
After looking at my anger yesterday, this morning when I woke up I realized something.
At this time in our lives, Larry is actually contributing to me financially in a turnabout way.
Where years ago I mostly made the mortgage payment, bought the food, and paid other household expenses, for the past two-and-a-half-years, Larry has been providing a home for me at much, much, much lower cost than the amount I would have to pay if I lived alone. And he is doing it at a time when I chose I wanted to live simply so I could spend my time on establishing a new direction for my work, rather than pay for a house that was bigger than I needed and car payments and insurance. It’s a lovely home on a piece of property where we can have a garden and build our tiny house, in a lovely little town with the best farmer’s market.
This has been great for me because I don’t pay rent living in the house, only for office space in a separate building, which is tax deductible. I don’t have a car or a car payment because Larry loves to drive me anywhere I want to go in his Prius.
But here’s the big realization.
When I added up how much I was saving on rent and car payments, it was…well I used the Florida numbers I was paying and it would be more if I were living here in California alone…it was a credit of $2000/month! Multiplies by 30 months is $60,000! More than I had spent supporting him over 25 years! In addition, because Larry is disabled, he also qualifies for government assistance to buy food at farmer’s markets, including a two-for-one exchange where he can “buy” coupons that let him buy $2 worth of food for $1, specifically to be used at the farm market for fruits and vegetables. So now every week we go to the farm market and he picks up his coupons and I get to spend $30 on any organic, local, heirloom food I want. He just puts the coupons in my hand and follows me around with bags to carry my purchases.
What a great investment supporting Larry financially turned out to be! (Larry says, “Whoa! That’s a change in view!) Not only an excellent financial return, but I got all the other perks Larry has been providing as well. I can’t tell you how big the smile is on my face as I write this! And what a relief to no longer be angry at what looked to me to be a problem at the time.
And all this time I was looking for ways to invest money for retirement. None of my investments in the industrial financial markets ever worked out, but Larry turned out to be the best investment of all, in every way.
Once I saw how my loss turned into such a gain, my day opened up…way up. See, when we hold on to negative emotions, they take up space inside us. When we look at them and see the truth, they disappear and spirit expands and expands.
Within a few hours I suddenly could see the details I needed to know to expand my new business, and I was able to easily set up a meeting with someone I needed to talk with about my next expansion steps.
Then we went to the post office, a woman walked by and admired the linen dress I was wearing and within about 30 minutes I got the idea that I could create a business making and selling linen dresses like this one which are no longer available. I could hire local seamstresses and sell them locally and online.
And then I had a breakthrough with a woman I have been at odds with for years. There was just a big communication block on both sides. She had invited Larry and I to come see the garden she was planting. We hadn’t been able to arrange the time, but all of a sudden I said to Larry, “Let’s go see her garden.” We did and had a lovely conversation with her. My anger was gone and her anger was gone as well. I’ve seen this before: when someone handles something inside of themselves, the way others interact with them changes. And that happened right here for me.
Then I spent the afternoon writing blog posts. I knew exactly what I wanted to write and had no problems with thinking. Words flowed from my fingers as fast as I could type.
My technical person solved some website technical difficulties that we hadn’t been able to solve.
By finding that stuck emotion of anger and resolving it, I have expanded as a spirit many times over in just one day.
This is not the first time I have experienced a spiritual expansion from finding and letting go of a past incident in which I was stuck. But it is a dramatic example of breaking through a long-standing problem. And it is in particular an example of the benefits that can come from becoming aware of emotions.
Apparent barriers can be twisty. but my experience is they can be sorted out when you know how it all works.
Whew! It feels great GREAT GREAT to get through that one!
DEBRA REDALIA, Co-Founder of Spirits Bright, became aware she was a spiritual being when her body was six years old, but didn't learn much about what that meant until she met soulmate Larry Redalia twenty-six years later. Together they have helped each other discover the characteristics of spirit and put them into practice in daily life. Since 2005, Debra and Larry have been writing Signs of Spirit stories—first person accounts of their true life adventures as spiritual belings. The are co-founders of Spirits Bright and The Signs of Spirit Project.
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